no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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