Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
