how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
