Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
