they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
