Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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