Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
