You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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