so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
