so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
