i wish my penis had a tongue
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
