Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
