he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
