btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
