Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
