woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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