i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
