no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
