the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
