Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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