Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
