Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
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