I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
