The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize