508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
