meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
