It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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