I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
