dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
