so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
