I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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