she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
should my penis look like a turkey
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
