if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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