Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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