She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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