A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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