Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is wine microwaveable?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize