Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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