North Korea, Best Korea!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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