Only a mothe r could love this liver
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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