He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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