We're like a lot better than the average bears
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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