sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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