no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
