What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
