i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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