i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
