i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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