I love black thongs
what day is it and did you see me today?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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