If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize