she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
