we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
