I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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