margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
