Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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