Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
