I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
