he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
