We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
