How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
