Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
