Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
