Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
