i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
